^{THE EARTH SAYS, "HELLO!"}

Fabittyfabfab! What a glorious day today was!
I am saying this for no particular reason! But, I am in a splendid music!
Currently listening to some Christmad carols...iTunes is on shuffle and I'm too busy to care.

^{"And as we trim the tree, how much fun is it gonna be together! This Christmas! Fireside is blazing bright, we're caroling all through the night! Presents and cards are here, my world is filled with cheer and youuu. This Christmas! Yadda yadda yadda. And this Christmas will be a very special Christmas for me!"}

Yee bitch, praise Allah!

So, I was thinking to myself as I chugged a glass of water today, that I should do my laundry. So, you know what? I did. Yeah, I did.

COCK!

Wait, what? Did she just say cock? Oh, she did!

Oh man, it was so gnarly, as young Jessica and I walk-eth to the class of Planning today, I nearly stepped in vomit. Yes, a big steamy pile of hydrochloric acid, baby! Unfortunately, it was too late for Melissa. We tried to warn her, saying, "Don't step in the-" But, she was already knee-deep in spew. Yes, knee-deep. I kid you not.

Last last night, or rather, two nights ago, I was watching The Children's Hour on TCM. It's a movie starring Audrey Hepburn and James Gardner.

In short, the plots goes a little something like this, Karen (Hepburn) and Martha run a school for girls, kind of like a boarding school, but much smaller. Anyway, there's this bitch child who's a fucking turd named Mary. Mary's always getting punished for doing stupid shit and she's sick of it! So, little Mary turd girl whispers a secret she's made up to her grandmother. Grannie, being repulsed by said secret, pulls lil' Mary shit head out of the school. Anyway, all the other mother's hear about the secret and take their children out of the school as well. Meanwhile, back at Grannie's, James Gardner is chatting it up with Grandmother. Grandma's saying things like, "You can't mary Karen. You just can't." And James is like, "LOLWUT?!"

MEANWHILE! Karen and Martha confront one of the children's father, asking what the problem was. The father talks to Karen in the driveway while Martha watches from inside. So, you don't find out the secret until Karen and Martha head to Grannie's to bitch at her for such slander!

So, here we are, at Grannie's. Karen reveals that this HUGE secret is that Mary told her grandmother that Karen and Martha are secret lovers. By the way, the first thing Grannie says when Karen and Martha enter ther house is, "I will not have them in my house!"

Anyway, shit happens, yadda yadda yadda, Martha hangs herself because she actually is a lesbian and can't live with herself. And Mary admits it was a lie.

Now, I thought this huge secret must have been some crazy shit about child abuse or something. But, no, the big deal is that Martha and Karen were apparent lesbians. It's ri-dank-i-lous